What about Grief?

By Marta

LEAP OF FAITH
www.faithleap.org

In grieving the loss of a loved one, we go through many emotions and we need to understand that our minds are trying to deal with a situation, that may be too big to handle.

Take a step at a time in dealing with your emotions and do not do anything drastic that you may regret later. Emotions are normal, but what you do with them may prove to be a blessing or a headache.

Remember, feelings are neither right nor wrong. What makes them right or wrong is what we do with them.

The following are some of the emotions you may feel while grieving:

1. Denial and Isolation.

At first, you may not believe that it really happened. This stage may last in a few moments, or it may take longer.

2. Anger.

You may become angry at the person who died, at the family of the person for mistreating and driving the individual to their death bed, at the world for being so cruel or even at God for allowing such a thing to happen. The people you love the most may be the victims of your anger. Be careful of words or deeds.

3. Guilt

You may feel guilty that you were not there to stop the event from happening and want to make it up to the individual in some way or fashion. It is normal to hear: “If I only would have been there, this would not have happened.” remember that death happens in God's timing. Do not punish yourself emotionally for what you would have liked to do. Pray to God and talk to a good friend or counselor, do not bottle in your anger.

4. Depression.

You cannot understand why it happened and you may feel numb. Anger and sadness may be part of this.

5. Acceptance.

When anger, sadness and mourning are under control, you have come to accept the reality of the situation.

How to handle Grief

q Pray and, if in your grief you cannot pray, ask others to pray for you.

q Go to daily mass and receive daily the Eucharist and you will feel its divine, healing power which will help you in ways you cannot even imagine.

q Be aware that you are very vulnerable, when you are confronted by the loss of a family
member or a friend. Take it easy. Be aware that there are many emotions you will be dealing with, sometimes one at a time or many of them at the time. That, in itself, can be very tiring.

q Be considerate of the people who love you. They are not inside of your heart or mind to understand your feelings and you have to communicate with them and let them know what is happening.

q Do not make decisions that you may regret later.

q Eat right. Do not drink alcoholic beverages. Drink plenty of water. The body under stress can deal better with the situation if healthy.

From the internet I found the following:

“… denying the feelings, and failing to work through the five stages of grief, is harder on the body and mind than going through them. When people suggest "looking on the bright side," or other ways of cutting off difficult feelings, the grieving person may feel pressured to hide or deny these emotions. Then it will take longer for healing to take place.

Recovering From Grief

Grieving and its stresses pass more quickly, with good self-care habits. It helps to have a dose circle of family or friends. It also helps to eat a balanced diet, to drink enough non-alcoholic fluids, to get exercise and rest.

Most people are unprepared for grief, since so often, tragedy strikes suddenly, without warning. If good self-care habits are always practiced, it helps the person to deal with the pain and shock of loss until acceptance is reached."

In your time of grief:

May You have a dry shoulder to cry on in your time of grief,

May God uphold your soul and your heart in consolation

Knowing that He is always there to help you with your cross,

As Simon helped Jesus with His.

Pray

Speak what is on your mind

Pray

Be kind to yourself and others

Remember that

The LORD is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack.

In green pastures you let me graze; to safe waters you lead me;